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Post by jbarron on Nov 10, 2007 23:26:12 GMT -5
After reading the following, I'm seriously considering opening a thead here to tell all of you the next time I have trouble taking a sh*t. Wouldn't all of you love to discuss diarrhea, hemorrhoids, a cyst on your ass, or something of that nature. The next time I get conjested from sinus drainage, I'm going to tell you all about it...........sh*t, I still can't believe I read what I'm about to post from that lard-assed loser over at Speed's playhouse.
Have any of you tried to piss and thought it was backing up on you? Hell, get in touch with Ryan the Fat Ass Loser and he'll tell you how to deal with it.
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Post by Coach on Nov 11, 2007 0:41:43 GMT -5
I was taking a sh*t and I thought about you and Holly and the turd crawled back up in my a$$...
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Post by jbarron on Nov 11, 2007 9:19:47 GMT -5
I've heard that a good dose of castor oil will solve that problem.
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Post by dtex on Nov 11, 2007 20:16:45 GMT -5
I'm thinking he just needs an ass whoopin'!
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Post by texiban001 on Nov 12, 2007 11:56:48 GMT -5
Castor oil or a Hilary Clinton speech! ;D Doesn't that bee-otch just make you want to sh*t anyway?
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Post by Ken on Nov 12, 2007 14:50:14 GMT -5
HEALTH UPDATE - I just wanted you all to know that my arm fell asleep last night because my wife was laying her head on it wrong, that my BM this morning rated an 8 out of a possible 10 and that I think I strained my back doing the incline bench press with 50lbs dumbells. Should have used 45's.
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Post by Coach on Nov 12, 2007 15:11:46 GMT -5
Mood update..
I think I have alzheimers, I once went to the kitchen and forgot why I went there. I want to be a flying superhero but I can't run fast enough to take off. I want a higher paying job but I want to do less work and not more. I don't like paying taxes, sometimes it makes me frown when I pay taxes. My dog keeps sh*tting in my back yard, I'm thinking of sticking a cork in his ass and only take the cork out when I walk him past my neighbors yard.
I hate it when the remote gets lost, I think it's all a plot to get me off the couch long enough to look for it. Text messaging pisses me off, that's too much work to type a stupid message when you can just call the person.
I get mad at the tough smart lawyer, Jim Adler. His commercials are really boring and something makes me think he's trying to f**k people out of money. He doesn't seem all that smart or tough either. I get nervous when a towel head gets on a plane that I am on, I am thinking of handcuffing the next camel f**ker to his seat.
RyanEd posts give me a real case of the sh*ts when I read them. I once farted and blamed it on an old lady. Will I go to hell for that? Have you ever been caught scratching your balls? Ummm.....me neither.
I find it funny that RyanEd has Pizza Hut, Hartz Chicken and a jack shack on Highway 59 in his T Mobile Fav 5.
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Post by jbarron on Nov 12, 2007 16:19:18 GMT -5
About six months back, I was in a hell of a mess for awhile. I couldn't decide if I had hemorrhoids or just a bad case of the red ass. I tried my red ass salve and that didn't work so it must have been hemorrhoids. Preparation H did the trick and I got back to normal. Then, I'll be damned if I didn't eat one of those foot-long chili dogs and get the squirts. I haven't had breathing problems since my heart attack in 2004 and that's probably because I haven't sat on my a$$ eating donuts, potato chips, and Blue Bell. I don' t have time to get on message boards seeking out other idiots to feel sorry for me. The highlight of my life isn't a new Video game or a new comic book. I don't hang out at Denny's looking for some 300 pound waitress to wink at me because I'm an even fatter slob than she is. RyanED's posts show me that there really is a need for more psychiatrists and pychologists........it also shows me how pathetic a 400 pound neurotic, lazy slug can get.
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Post by texiban001 on Nov 12, 2007 17:07:01 GMT -5
"I'm a little fatigued today. I went to bed around 9:00 and I just couldn't get to sleep, the sun kept shining in my window no matter what I did. Then I had to get up and take a leak and that reminded me that I needed to take a "Speedy". Then I was worried that the Cheerios were bad so I ate the whole box because I was depressed about the little pygmies in Africa not getting enough to eat, so I ate a box of Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up and drank a 2 liter bottle of Dr Pepper to wash it down. Then I had to take another "Speedy". I don't know why I'm just so depressed and lethargic all the time. I know I play plenty of sports on the computer and PlayStation2!"
God, can you imagine how the people around this a$$h*le feels listening to his manic depressive bullsh*t 24/7?! He just needs to be put out of his misery!
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Post by Coach on Nov 12, 2007 17:49:29 GMT -5
I'd jerk off more but that might burn some calories and I can't have that. Besides that, to jerk off you need to get something to stimulate you and I've run out of menus to beat it to. I need a new sock the one I used to use has a hole in the end and that defeats the purpose of putting it in a sock.
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Post by jbarron on Nov 12, 2007 18:52:33 GMT -5
Myabe RyanED will send you a photo of his sweety in a bikini. That's bound to stimulate you. Hey, maybe you can post it on here as a pick-me-up for the rest of us. We haven't had anything to jerk off to on here since AG and Beetlebaum were swapping stalking stories.
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Post by Ken on Nov 12, 2007 20:41:44 GMT -5
OMG!!! This is the greatest stuff since Coach started the new site!!! HILARIOUS!!!! I LOVE this f**kING SITE!!! BTW has anyone noticed whether they deleted my post or not? I haven't been back just because I don't want my name to show up on the guest list.
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Post by texiban001 on Nov 13, 2007 8:08:55 GMT -5
I'm going to go on there later and cause some commotion. I'll check to see if you have been canned. ;D Knowing the p*ssies over there, probably.
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Post by Coach on Nov 13, 2007 8:48:22 GMT -5
Be civil when you go on their site or you will get banned.
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Post by tbone421998 on Nov 13, 2007 8:53:42 GMT -5
Coach all you need to get stimulated is a picture of Ken, shorething, or texiban. We all know what you are like.
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